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Love Overboard

Love overboard
The love thing never leaves me bored
Hey nice to meet you
Late night text
Phone calls till 2
Days weeks and months
Pass us by you just might be alright
So I prepare let my guard down
Only to find the voice
On the other end of my phone
Is your wife

Love overboard
This love thing never leaves me bored
1’s and 0’s
On and off
That’s the way our love goes
Damn near 20 years in
Let’s try this again
Quickly comes to a halt
Now your married to her
And your still trying to get in
Between my lips and my legs
But just like your marriage nigga count this as a double L
I stopped being for you in 2012

Love overboard
This love thing never leaves me board
My heart and mind desire love
My heart and mind are also afraid to love
Vulnerability is cold and lonely
I don’t ask for much
Just warms arms to hold me
A heart & mind that loves me
A real man to support me
Encourage & promote me
A man who wants to me

Love overboard
This love thing never leaves me bored
But it sure has left me lonely
So with my head held high
My heart aching to love
I continue on my journey
Until he someone is brave enough to
Choose me

Congratulations

So you’re getting married
Congratulations
Thanks for telling me I guess
I wish you well
Oh is that not the response you were expecting
It’s ok because I normally I would want to
jump and scream and declare my love for you
But it will fall on deaf ears and a closed heart
I use to wonder if it could have been me
But no need to dwell on what could have been
I’ll take what we have now and enjoy that as my sort of kind of friend
I’m done with crying trying to understand why
Why not me
Why was I never good enough
Why wasn’t my love ever good enough for you
So your friendship I’ll maintain
Try to keep the feelings of what was under wraps
Keeping my heart under lock and key
My legs under chastity
So your phallus can never penetrate my body again,
fertilizing my brain with thoughts of you
and awakening the love of before
and I will not be impregnated
With false feelings of love
Only to be disregarded and minimized to a added side benefit
Yet it only benefits you for the moment In time
Yet I’m left with the scraps of your heart you toss to me
and traces of your DNA left in my yoni
That takes months and months to remove
The feelings I can’t seem to control
The love I can’t seem to get rid of
The memories of good times I can’t stop replaying in my mind
The hurtful things you’ve said that I’ve forgave
The gun you pulled and put between my legs with tour hand in the trigger like a fool I forgave
The women you brought in my presence I forgave……….
Now it’s time to forgive myself for allowing myself to be mistreated
for the healing of myself and the piece of mind for myself
I loved you more than words can say
more than science can explain
More than there are stars in the sky
Yet my love wasn’t good enough
My feelings were never important enough
My pain never concerned you enough
My tears never moved you enough
Nonetheless I wish you god speed
I pray blessings for your life
Congratulations once again
Finally I can say it’s the end

Morning Poem 8

Awaken by dongs and bells from my phone
It was my BFF sending me massages
She wants she’s butter and salt scrubs
So her body will be fresh and soft
Demands thrown at me to where only white to the wedding
I digress
I dreamed I was a woman getting married but I don’t know to who then I left on a plane to France to with my husband
I dreamed I saw you and we locked eyes I said I missed you and you just turned off the computer screen
Please don’t shut me out
I love you
I pray this dream was just scare me
I pray it’s not a representation of reality
God I need you to fix this
But only if it’s your will
Good day world
Happy Saturday

I Imagine…………

I imagine my husband the one to who all my love will go without hesitation
I imagine you upright, standing tall and Square, respected and Noble
I imagine your voice deep and soothing whispering sweet somethings in my ear to replace the empty nothings whispered by those of before
I imagine you supporting my wildest dreams and thoughts to better our life and even the world.
I imagine you investing in our future, building up our legacy
I imagine you traveling the world with me and I with you wherever you are there I will be
I imagine you humbly worshiping the most high, giving praises, sacrifices and praying with me
I imagine you as the head, my king and I your queen in perfect submission one to another
I imaging you chasing after Gods heart & dancing like David, with the wisdom of Solomon and the God given strength of the Nazarite Samson.
I imagine you loving me unconditionally attitude and all, correcting me when I’m wrong and showing me another viewpoint to right my wrongs
I imagine me trusting you and you trusting me, your deepest fears and secrets are safe with me like Alicia Keys my heart will be the pages of your diary, with you I’m vulnerable and subject to your will.
I imagine you here so close I can feel you breath condensate on my nose
I imagine your touch strong and gentle, slow and wandering, surges of energy transferring from your hands to my body
I imagine a love imaginable defying the logic of scholars, leaving haters to ponder, jaw dropping love that no man can put asunder
I imagine you in my now, even though you’re really in my future, so until then I walk around eyes wide shut until you are here, I expect you, I anticipate you, and I wait for you