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I give up

I give up

Love has no room for me

I tried it again and it failed

no need to feel for me

its nothing out of the ordinary

So, I’ll just keep it cordial

no need to jump to conclusions

love is nothing but confusion

the most difficult task of all

is finding true love in a world

full of detachment

commitment fear

superficial standards

& unrealistic expectations

I loved I lost I digress

I give up

 

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Congratulations

So you’re getting married
Congratulations
Thanks for telling me I guess
I wish you well
Oh is that not the response you were expecting
It’s ok because I normally I would want to
jump and scream and declare my love for you
But it will fall on deaf ears and a closed heart
I use to wonder if it could have been me
But no need to dwell on what could have been
I’ll take what we have now and enjoy that as my sort of kind of friend
I’m done with crying trying to understand why
Why not me
Why was I never good enough
Why wasn’t my love ever good enough for you
So your friendship I’ll maintain
Try to keep the feelings of what was under wraps
Keeping my heart under lock and key
My legs under chastity
So your phallus can never penetrate my body again,
fertilizing my brain with thoughts of you
and awakening the love of before
and I will not be impregnated
With false feelings of love
Only to be disregarded and minimized to a added side benefit
Yet it only benefits you for the moment In time
Yet I’m left with the scraps of your heart you toss to me
and traces of your DNA left in my yoni
That takes months and months to remove
The feelings I can’t seem to control
The love I can’t seem to get rid of
The memories of good times I can’t stop replaying in my mind
The hurtful things you’ve said that I’ve forgave
The gun you pulled and put between my legs with tour hand in the trigger like a fool I forgave
The women you brought in my presence I forgave……….
Now it’s time to forgive myself for allowing myself to be mistreated
for the healing of myself and the piece of mind for myself
I loved you more than words can say
more than science can explain
More than there are stars in the sky
Yet my love wasn’t good enough
My feelings were never important enough
My pain never concerned you enough
My tears never moved you enough
Nonetheless I wish you god speed
I pray blessings for your life
Congratulations once again
Finally I can say it’s the end

Morning Poem 3

Yesterday was hard
Mixed messages received
Love concluded on day 3
You need your space
Like the ocean between us is too close
We talk too much
Like the 2 phone calls a day are harassment
I want to know why
You refuse to reply
Blocked from your life
Damn a few days ago you called me your wife
Start a new life
Journey continues
I use to love him
But now I wish I never met him
Unstable
Double minded
God I need an explanation
New day
New conversation
Old friend
Old lover
Good morning text
I miss you
I swear he must have a radar

Yeah Yeah

Some say I’m a fool for continuing this love
but none of them know the strength of the bond
to know why we held on so long

Yeah he did me wrong, but I forgave him
Yeah he left with no rhyme or reason but
he’s back so it’s a new season for us

They say I’ll just end up with him anyway
but they don’t know how much damage was
suffered to my trust

No it wont be easy, but it will be worth it
No he’s not perfect but he’s perfect for me
No he’s no angel but yes he’s still my friend