Category Archives: Random Musings

Irreplaceable

Be Irreplaceable.

I just saw these words flash across the TV screen and I think to myself oh God how do you do that!!

Tears run down my face & every ending of a relationship runs swiftly through my head. How does one accomplish irreplaceability in ones life from love to career. How does that get on your list of accomplishments. I mean is that something you put on your vision board, is there 10 step plan, is there a lecture I can listen to, is there a book I can read, is there a seminar or conference I can attend, is there DVD/CD series I can buy, dies it come packaged in a box, can I go to Macy’s and buy it, does it come in a bottle, can it be found next to the fountain of youth in the middle of the garden of Eden, is it just a figment of ones imagination, is it only set a side for those who are special or maybe there is a irreplaceable gene people get when they’re born.

I’m no stranger to heartache we’ve become fairly aquatinted, more than I ever really wanted. Lately it’s the only consistent thing in my life and I’m not sure how to break away from it. I give, I love, & I try to be a good friend, but heartache still beckons to be my friend.

Be Irreplaceable………… I’m still laughing to myself about that statement. I ask again how do I get to be irreplaceable?

I think I love you

I just came to say
I think I love you
And its not because
I know you, but because
I don’t know you. I know
This may seem strange but
What better person to love
Than the one who doesn’t
Know you. No please don’t tell
Me your name or try to find out
What we have in common just let me
enjoy the fact that I dont know your
faults & you dont know mine.
Just let me spend this time thinking
to myself hmmm I think I love you.

~MoZaic
Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

So………

Some say its a lost cause, but the time invested makes it worth it
and the love exchanged makes it’s even better.
So, no I can’t just let go
Yes, we’ve had are ups and our downs, it doesn’t mean its the end
no one ever saw the end of another’s story before they did
So, no I can’t just give up
We’ve spent more days and nights laughing & talking till the next dawn
than we did arguing or disagreeing
So, no it’s still worth it
He’s a man of valor, strong, wise & caring…I see him as a King
and next to him I his queen
So, yes its worth giving my best

~MoZaic
Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Velvet Blanket

I love his dark brown intriguing eyes….I stare
the sound of his voice brings peace to a rough day
Its smooth like velvet & cool like winter, but his
heart is warm & inviting like a cozy blanket that I
wish to curl up in. Wrapped up, entangled in his
embrace, I believe I would surrender… I enjoy our
conversations the variety of subjects are endless
the laughing is non-stop & nothing compares to our
silliness… A recent brief encounter..Man I hate
one day trips! A Black King who reigns supreme in
another land…damn story of my life at least this
time you’re only 200 miles north….My velvet blanket

~MoZaic
Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

No Hard Feelings

No hard feelings boo but
You could’ve shown me
Better respect than you do
Love unconditional I gave
Even though you chose not
To behave & live life according
To you…..

No hard feelings boo but
One day the shoe will
Soon be on the other foot
& your lying tongue on the
Bottom side of a dirty boot

No hard feelings boo but
The jokes & ganes you played
Are really being played on you
Minimal funds & a bunch of
Lyrical Ho hum you probably
Don’t even believe yourself

No hard feelings boo but
Really & truly I’m so through
I just wanted to know if you still wanted
what I bought 2 weeks ago
Because unlike you all of my love
Was true.

~MoZaic
Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Lemme lone

I’m so stressed and I’m tired of feeling like this. There is too much stuff to do and too little time. Too many people demand my time and I have no time for me. When I do try to take that time, people make me seem like I’m wrong & I’m always helping someone else.

So, I’m tired now, I don’t want to do anything for anyone any more unless its on my terms. I don’t care if you need a ride to the store I don’t want to have anything to do with doing anything for anyone else.

I’m going to take some me time if I can, maybe for a weekend. People are so selfish & respect no one else’s time & I’m tired if it. So, don’t ask me for nothing because my answer will be no

Ranting

Its funny how other people view your life, they look at your setback and your end, your trips as your falls and your moments as your lifetime. I don’t believe that I give the impression that I have everything perfect, but some people seem to think I don’t need someone to lean on every now and then.

I’ve been feeling really alone lately because when I need to vent or talk to someone its like pulling teeth to get someone to talk to me, but I’m always there to help everyone else. My dad had his left knee replaced & I’m back to helping him out again till he can walk. I wish my sister would step up & do her part but that’s a long ways from hell freezing over.

It’s hard going to school, working, helping my dad, helping oops I mean doing my moms homework, have a personal life & tryna run a business. People make it seem so easy to day to their parents but its not. I’m trying to say no more than ever because my mom is taking advantage of me big time.

I’m on a weightloss journey but I just walked away from the group I was with because I felt from the owner as if I wasn’t going to do right so she didn’t have time for me. Last week I ate thanksgiving food I’ve been following the program all the way up to then & j expressed to her I felt as if I was suppose to eat all veggies or 1 meal a Day but I received no response.

I don’t like that attitude so I just left the group. I like the product I just need to buy it now. I’m going to loose this weight if its the last thing I do with or without the support if other people

~MoZaic
Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

I’m Tired

I’m tired…..
tired of being the one who everyone depends on
the one who is always there when no one else isn’t
the one who is selfless with her love & time
only to be hurt, let down, run over, looked over & ignored
when I need someone the most.

Im tired….God I’m so tired
sometimes I swear he doesn’t hear me
I’m trying to hold myself together but
some days I’m so close to a breakdown
but I refuse to let that happen to me

I need to break free from the energy leeches
called friends family & church folks
I need to focus on me but its hard living in
a house where I can find no solidarity for me
From the time I walk in the door demands are
being made on me to help with this or help
with that & if I don’t I have to hear the
yelling and name calling that follows

I’m tired yes I’m really tired
I need a way of escape
God please help me

~MoZaic
Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Untitled 8

Waiting for love seems so unreal…..
Constantly I hear how good of a wife
I’ll make for someone who doesn’t seem
to exist
You’re so pretty, so smart, so loving,
you cook so well, you’re so good with kids,
you have a good heart, you really love God,
Yeah yeah I know all of that,
excuse my moment of conceit,
but still there is something
missing from this puzzle & I cant seem
to find the missing piece to complete
this picture of me as a wife to a husband
that God created for me.
Twice I thought I’d found him but after
sometime it has been revealed to me that
I was not the one.
Only after I have poured my heart and soul
into a relationship that they were unable
to keep.
God what is it that you need me to see….
I know how to be by myself and practice a
life of abstinence, I know there are some
things I could work on and daily I’m progressing
Forward…
I don’t rant much about sending a King to me
but being a wife is what I desire to be &
right now is not so fun being with just me…

~MoZaic
Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Him

image

He answers to many names
Gives unwanted kisses
Sleeps on fine linen & microfiber
Eats like a king at the paupers table
Enjoys walks in the parks and
Cuddling on the couch
Snores like a freight train
Stalks me throughout the house
He’s my 85lbs dog Baby
And I wouldn’t trade him for the world